Yamanzi teh anda ukuqhanyelwa

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Angidlali yin ntombi kamakhelwane, ngizwile mjitha wayo baxabene ngathi unkabi yajola.

Khismus abantu badakiwe kuhle nezingane zigcwele mgwaqo kuyaphithizela endaweni.
“LoveBigAss” kusho yena, beka Aunti wakhe bephuza. Ngivume (ngiyangabaza, angibon kahle kuqala nokubamnyama. “Ye ebo”. Ngime ngiqalaze, asondele ufake ingubo eyelo ehamba ngezansi kancane kwamahlombe ehamba ifike ezinqakaleni. “Ayi imina obekubingelela, njan?” Esho esondela.
“Mmh mmh, ngiyaphila unjani sisi” kwamane kwabambeka umphimbo sengibona ukuthi. “Yazi hlez ngibona boy wakho ngisho ukuthi yinhle lengane futhi hlez i-clean. Cha shame ubaba oryt. Cha kahle kahle nje angithi uyindoda. Ngiyakuvuma uyindoda, kodwa ngangimithisi, ngiyakucela ngangimithisi.”
Umlomo wamane woma nko! Kumina sengim’buka ngamehlo okumjuqa straight. Simile mgaqweni bayasibona Aunti wakhe nabanye aphuza nabo. Ngithuke ngbonge, ingqondo didekile angisazi zothini kuyena fast ezomenza vume sihambe. “A aa aa, aibo, nakhu ngiphelelwa amagama, yazizwa uthini kumina, zoyimela lento yishoyo zokwazi kuyibamba usukizwile?” Ngizenza inja into engacucuzi, lapho uvalo kuthi angiwe.
Amane asuke aguqe phambi kwabantu mgaqweni, angibambe isandla athi “ngiyakuvuma uyindoda, ayindojeyana nje, uyindoda ngampela” angisazike manje ngishawa amahloni abantu bazothini manje, meaeguqa kanje phambi kwabantu. “Aibo! Yin manje waguqa, ngicela sukume abantu bayabuka, ngiyakucela sukume sixoxe” nangempela asukume. “Ohk, ithini namba yakho” kubuza mina, sengiqhanyelwe manje, nomakhelwane sefana nenjanje. “Anginayo nje 4n” kusho yena. Pho zokuthola kanjan, khona nam zokuguqela ngikukhombise umuntu wesifazane uJabuliswa kanjan” sengimfuna la. “Wena iyiphi indlu yakho” kubuza yena. Ngichaze athi yayibona. “Alryt, sayophuza kancane mese ngiyeza” avume kanjalo. Sihambe isikhashana ngiyendlini ngiyolungisa, ngawathengi ama-condom, sengimuplanele skoon vele. Angisaqhanyelwe endlini ngilinde yena, akanafoni angikwazi kumthinta futhi angikwazi ukuphuma angifun abantu babone slandelana. Ngihlale ngidlale ingoma ngihlale mbhedeni ngialale ngomhlane izinyawo zam zilenga phansi.
Zwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ubuthongo, ngavuka ngo3:23 eyintatha ngiyagodola kukhala radio emnyango angikhiyile…

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