Bangidlwengula abantu besifazane

Kepha ngibona ngibukeleka phansi namalungelo ami enyathelwa. Indaba yami iqale ngiya emshinini wokukhipha imali. Ukufika kwami emshinini ngifikisane neBMW ebihamba izintokazi ezintathu ezihloniphekile. Ngiye ngadumala ukuthola ukuthi umshini awusebenzi. Nalezizintokazi ziye zajabhela khona. ‘Sale usugibela lapha bhuti siye kwenye iATM,” asho ngelimnandi losisi oshayelayo. Awu umusa wezintokazi ezinotho awandele bani. Ngisho phakathi. Ngithi ngiya eback seat angidedele ohleli phambili. ‘Woza ngapha bhuti.’ Awu ngiwubonge umusa nenhlonipho yalezizintombi. Uyazi selokhu ngafika edolobheni ngiyaqala ukubona inhlonipho engaka kwabesifazane nokwenza bengeswele lutho. Ihambe imoto isibheke kwenye i”atm”. Nami ngizizwe ngingomunye umuntu. Ukuhlonishwa abesifazane ngalendlela edolobheni akwandile. Baxoxa kamnandi lababantu, benjalo nje bahle. Mina ngiwumuntu onamahloni kodwa kulokhu ngizithola ngiphendula baze bahleke bonke. Okungimangazayo amancoko abo ngezothando.‘ Wee sengikhohlwe ikhadi endlini.’ Kuzikhalela losisi oshayelayo. ‘He!He!He!’ Kushe uhleko. Luthi ukungimangaza kancane loluhleko kodwa nginganaki ngiyabona baziphaphele labosisi. ‘Bhuti wabantu sicela ukudlula endlini akukude silande ikhadi lalosisi ngaphambi kokudlulela ku”atm”. ‘Nami phela ngiphiwe umusa ngokugitshezwa lapha emotweni, angikwazi ukwenqaba. ‘Khululekani ayikho inkinga.’ Sifike endlini kusema suburbs kuhle! ‘Woza bhuti ujike ngaphakathi besho bengena bevala I”gate” elikhulu nge”remote”. Ngilandele inhloso yami ukuyobona lobukhazikhazi bomuzi ngaphakathi. Singene ngaphakathi kwi”lounge”. ’Hlala phansi sikulethele okuphuzwayo. Balethe i”whiskey” ngithi angiphuzi. Balethe iDrinki ngizame ukuphuza mashinyane ngijahe isikhathi sokuhamba. Losisi obeshayela avule I”dvd player.” Ivele idlale ifilimu yocansi. Kuyadliwana lapha bayi ”group” bayashintshana. Ngithi ngisamangazwe ilokho labosisi abanye bavele bahlale ngapha nangapha kwami, bangivule uziphu webhulukwe. Ngithi ngiyasusa izandla zabo vele bathi, ‘Awusayi ndawo’. Ngizame ukusukuma ngime bangibambe ngenkani bangihlalise phansi. Ngikhiphe amandla ami obudoda ngizama ukubalwisa. ’Hheyi uzama ukwenzani?’ kubuza lona obekade eshayela esengikhombe ngesibhamu ebusweni. Ngethuke ngimbheke ngithambe. ’Anisho nifunani kanti kimi?’ Bahleke olokubhuqa. ’Hlala phansi ulalele umthetho.’ Kuphendula ongikhombe ngesibhamu. Kungicacele ukuthi ngibanjwa inkunzi-ke la. Amantombazane pho! Ubuye umqondo ukthi kambe abantu besifazane uma bekukhombe ngesikhali bakubulala ngemmpela ngoba becabanga ukuthi uzobehlula ngamandla. Nami ngivele ngithobele umthetho. Sekufanele ngicabange amaqhinga okuphuma lapha, noma ngethembele emithandazweni. Bangikhumule ibhulukwe ne anda ngokukhulu ukushesha. Losisi obeshayela angibambe amasende sakuwapitshiza. ”Uyangilimaza!” Ngizikhalela sebepitshiza ubudoda bami. Maye! Abuhlungu pho yini amasende! ”Fuseki!.” Ngfifokofiswa ilona omunye wesithathu. ”Uke wazama ukuhlakanipha uzokunya msunu kanyoko.” Kusho lona ophethe isibhamu.
“Sifuna usibhebhe sonke.” kusho lona owesibili omuhle kakhulu. Impela madoda ingquza ngiyayithanda imnandi. Kodwa uma seyiza ngaloluhlobo iyangethusa. ”Uyezwa na?” ngibuzwa ilona ophethe isibhamu. ”Ngiyezwa bosisi…kuphela ngicela ningangibulali…” “Masende kayihlo konje nina nithi uma nisidlwengula kusuke kunjani? Uzoke uzwe ukudlwengulwa amantombazane,” basho lapho baqhumise olukhulu uhleko lolu.
Bakhumule ngokushesha babenqunu. Bakhiwe kahle labosisi, kodwa umpipi uvele ubhocobale. Ngeke uwuphoqe phela uma ungavuki wethukile. Bathi ukuwudlalidlalisa ungavuki. “Ayiqhanyelwa lenja. Mhlawumbe ayisebenzi letotolozi yalenja” Basho bawapetule bonke amagolo kuvele leyandawana ebomvana. Lutho ukuvuka umthondo wethukile. ”Uzosibhebha masende akho.” Bathathe omunye umuthi engingawazi omhlophe. Bawuhlikihle emthondweni. Angiyazi leyanto. Iyashoshozela. Uvele usukume ngiwuzwe uthi gqi!gqi!gqi! Uye uqine ube ugodo kube sengathi usunennsimbi ngaphakathi. ”Ngicela sisebenzise amakhondomu.” Ngizincengela sengibona ukuthi nokufa ngingahle ngikuthole lana. “Sicela bhuti wabantu ungazosidakelwa lana. Nina uma nidlwengula niye nisebenzise amakhondomu yini? Ungazixabanisi nathi. Umthondo sifuna ukuwuzwa ungena ngekhinqi engquza kushise kamnandi noma ususichamela.” Kube khona into engibona beyifutha ezingquza zabo eyisi’pray.’ Angazi noma eyokuthambisa noma eyokubaqhanyelisa nakhu phela asikaze sidlalisane. Kodwa ngibabonile bese bevele beqhanyelwe bebuka i’movie’ yocansi esadlala namanje. Awu bawapetule amagolo bawafaze ngale”spray”. Bahlikihle imisunu kanyekanye, ’Yuuu!!!’ bekhala kanye kanye. Kube sengathi ngibuka ifilimu. Yebo khona bengikade ngiyibuka le”dvd” yocansi kodwa manje sekungathi ngikuyona. Ngiqhanyelwe ngempela nami manje. Lento yabo angigcobe yona ilokhu iwuqinise njalo umthondo. Sengizwela ngisho ubuhlungu bokuqina komthondo. Angikaze ngiqhanyelwe kanje. Kodwa ukubhebha lezizifebe ngingenakhondomu kungishayise uvalo. “Ikhondomu bosisi ngiyanicela.” Ngizincengela. “Uyobhebha unyoko ngekhondomu. Sifuna umthondo la inyama enyameni.” Basho bawubambe bonke umthondo bawuxhume emlonyeni bashintshane ngawo. ‘Owu!Owu!’ Ngibubula beshintshana ngami bencela umthondo.’ Awu kodwa uthi akusiwo abalandeli basathane lava. Hleze angibulale nje noma ancele igazi lami khona lapha emthondweni ngisaphila. Lungithi heqe uvalo! Ngishaye umthandazo omncane engangiwuzwa kugogo uma sesizolala othi ”Nkosi ngilonde… Mmmh!’’ Ngibubula phakathi nomthandazo bengincela labosisi. Ngingabe ngisazi ukuthi kumele nginake kuphi. Kumthandazo noma ukuncelwa okunzima kangaka. Phela baze bapaqake izihlathi labosisi uma bengincela. Bancela kube sengathi isidoda bafuna ukusilanda le emasendeni siyophuma ngembobo yomthondo. Impela angikaze ngibone abantu besifazane abanjena. Ayike manje into eyenzeka lapha endlini ayichazeki. Kwabona bebodwa bayadlokodlana ngeminwe ezingquza bakitazana nemisunu. ’Ooooh…aaaaah!’ Beshintshana ngokukhala nami ngibubula ngapha. ’Mmmmmh!’ Nakuba bengincela kamnandi ekhinqini kodwa umthondo usubuhlungu ukuncelwa. “Ayi iwuphethe bosistaz lenja umthondo esesiyivusele wona ubhocobele.” Kusho lona obekade eshayela. “Ubuwesaba yini baba?” Basho bahleke kanyekany ngingakaphenduli. “Siyawufuna lomthondo wakho ngenkani uzosibhebha uyoze uyekwe ithina uma sesiwudelile lomthondo wakho.” Asuke lona obengakakhulumi angigxamalazele ngamathanga abanye bawubambe umthondo bamqondisele. Ehle ungene ushelela engquza uye uthi bushe wonke phakathi. Kungifende okwesifebe. ’Nhhiiiii…!!!’ Kunswininiza kunginkonkoshela. Ngibone ukuthi sekuyachanywa la. Answininize ahline, “Oooh!” Awumboncule umthondo. “Woza la wenanja” Sengibizwa ngomunye oseliqhekezile igolo ebheke phezulu. Ngizinikele ngiye khona. Ngiwufake phakathi. Alihlekeze impela igolo. Afende engibambile. “Fenda masende akho!’ Ngikhakhabiswa ilona engingakambhebhi. Awu ngimfende losisi. Naye uyafenda ubufequ fequ. “Oyi…ooo…aaai! Umnandi umthondo walenja” Kuhefuzela lo engimbhebhayo. “Fenda usheshise wena!” Ngikhakhabiswa ilona engingakambhebhi. Nami ngisheshise. Lona ebengikade ngimbhebha angithi ngci ezinqeni uma usuphakathi, ‘’Yeee!… yeee!…. awu wema!’’ Sekuduma indlu bememeza laba ababili bethi, “shesha wena maan.” Omunye ungithe ngci ezinqeni. Umthondo ngiwujikijela wonke. Ngize ngizwe ikhinqi lishayisa phambili ekugcineni kwengquza. “Mmmh…aaa…!” Namisengiyaquma. Nami ngizwe sengibhongisa okwenkunzi. Ngisishaye phakathi emajukujukwini isidoda. Angibambe ngqi kubengathi ungephula izimbambo ekhala. “Awu nkosiyami saze sashisa kamnandi isidoda. Ayi umnandi mani!” “Usazongibhebha nami” Sekusho lona ongakabhejwa. Ngithi ngisathi ngifuna ukumtshela ukuthi sengichamile nami athi “Woza,” Nami ngisamangazwe yilokho angidunusele laba abanye bawubambe umthondo bawuqondise embotsheni yegolo. Ngiwushaye phakathi. Ngifende ngikhathele nginjalo. Ngimangale ukuthi umthondo uyawa uma usuchamile, kodwa lona awuwi. Impela lento abangigcobe ngayo iyisimanga umthondo awuwi. Ngiwushaye “corner to corner”ngenyuke nengquza njengoba engifulathele kube sengathi ngiya emdidini. Angikhalele ngenye indlela. “Iyabhebha lenja.” Bevumelana. “Lona ubedlula bonke esike sabadlwengula.” Basho bavumelane. “Kunganjani simgcine amalanga esibhebha?” Lungithi heqe! uvalo. Ngithi ngisanake lokho ngizwe ingquza ibopha akhale isililo lona engimbhebhayo, “Ooooooh… ngiyachama….!!!!” “Sekuyimina futhi” Sekusho lona engiqale ngaye ukumbhebha. Asho ahlale phezu kwami angifulathele. Umthondo ukhale phakathi engquza. Lapho mina angisakwazi nakufenda ngikhathele ngiyimvithi. Nomthondo usubuhlungu! Kukhale ubuphaxaphaxa bomthondo negolo. Uyangincoma losisi uthi ngimnandi. Usengibiza ngo “baby” angiseyona inja futhi. Labanye bathi “ifende inja sistaz” Mina lapho sengifisa sengathi ngabe kuqhamuka amaphoyisa noma abantu bangikhulule. Ngiyabona ngizokufa nya igolo lana. Inkinga umthondo awehli usubuhlungu. “Ngifuna uchamele phakathi Baby. Nami ngifuna isidoda phakathi engquza.” Kusho yena. Angifende engathi kuyaliwa ngihluleke ukuzibamba. Ngiqumise okwebhubesi ngisishaye phakathi isidoda! “Awu ngixoleleni bosisi sengikhathele. Futhi sekubuhlungu.” Ngibancenga ukuthi bangikhulule. “Usazosibhebha wena, Sifuna amagolo ethu aze asuthe namhlanje, Uma nisidlwengula anisixoleli nivele nilihlikize igolo kabuhlungu . Asinaxolo nathi.” Ngicele le whiskey ekade nginqabile ekuqaleni. Kona angiphuzi kodwa ngase ngifisa noma yini engathi ukudidisa umqondo. Umthondo bawubambe manje bawuncele bonke beshintshana. Abanendaba nama ”juices” aphuma ezingquza zabo asemthondweni. Abawasuli nokuwesula bancela kunjalo. Ngibone sebethatha loloyaketshezi olumhloshana baphinde bangigcobe ngalo umthondo. Uqine kakhulu umthondo kubebuhlungu. Emva kweskhashana ungabe ngisabuzwa ubhlunga phela I whiskey yayisithatha indawo yayo. Balokhu beshintshana ngomthondo, uma ngichama bekungasaphumi lutho. Namagolo ebesomile sebesebenzisa okokugcobisa ukuze izingquza zishelele. “Ayi bosistaz sekubuhlungu ingquza manje, isiyoze iphucuke,” Kusho losisi obekade eshayela. “Dedela thina esinamagolo aphilayo siqhubeke,” kusho laba abanye ababili. Angazi ukuthi ngihambe kanjani endlini yabo. Kodwa ngiyakhumbula ngiquleka ngisabhebha igolo. Ingathi ngiqulekele kulo. Engikukhumbulayo ilapho ngizwa ngishayka phansi nemoto yalabo sisi isuka ngesivinini sebengilahle ngaphandle. ILapho engivuke khona ngididizela ibhulukwe liqumbile umthondo ungehli ngiyobika udaba Lwami emaphoyiseni